Thursday, January 27, 2011

I love it so much, I want to marry it.

Ever hear a kid say that?
I love ginger ale so much, I want to marry it.
Or I love the Jonas Brothers so much, I want to marry them.
Really?  One husband is hard enough, but three? 

Ever sat and thought about all the things you love so much?  

I mean L.O.V.E.

Not as in, mmm, this chocolate bar is good.
Or I'm crazy about this tea and can't stop drinking it.

Nope, I mean Love, with capital letters LOVE.

Drunk dialing an old boyfriend doesn't count.
Nor does obsessively stalking blogs.

Actually, stalking is just plain creepy.
Unless it involves rock stars.

As in I love Kid Rock so much I want to marry him.

Thanks, Kid, for being from Michigan.   
For using the same hair salon.
For driving your hog down Woodward, past my neighborhood.
For cruising in your boat past our dock... last time I stand on the dock in my pj's.

Not that I've noticed.

Tuesday, January 25, 2011



Now comes the hard part.  Catch up.  Laundry, grocery shopping, cleaning, mopping.  Clean the cupboard of all the Trix, candy, cookies and miscellaneous garbage that was fed to my kids whilst I was absent.  Plenty of rotting fruit and vegetables in the fridge too.

You know what else is fun?  Hugs.  Hugs from your kids, wild with excitement you're home.  

Not fun?  Hearing how your little boy would get in bed and cry, saying he missed mommy so much it hurt.  

Fun?  Jabber jawing with the bestie, laying in the sun, getting take out, saying NO! to dishes, actually finishing a sentence.  

Not fun?  Standing in a crowded plane aisle, with 300 lbs of shells on my arm, while a dumb ass woman wearing a fur coat gets out of her seat and expects me to somehow make room for her to walk the wrong way up the aisle.  

Fun?  Having the women sitting in the seat on the other side, hear my under my breath not nice remark and high five me.  

Also fun?  Looking at some of my pictures.  

Birds at low tide, on a very foggy morning.

Pelican and gull in the fog. 

I'm obviously a little obsessed with Pelicans.

Just what it looks like.  Smelly tide pool full of shelling finds.  Big ewwww.

Yep, he's mine!  Perfect and uninhabited. 

Sun?  Moon?  Does it matter.

Tuesday, January 18, 2011

New Day New Dawn

It's here.  The time of the year I get five days and four dawns with my BFF, on my favorite place on Earth.  We meet once a year, leaving behind messy floors, dirty laundry on the floor, cars filled with goldfish crackers and husbands who can't remember how to hang up their coats.  

My bestie is such a good friend, she WANTS to meet me on my favorite island, even though I tell her I'll get on a plane to where ever she wants to go.  This is the friend that sends me a copy of her credit card, in case I need it to get the discount on a rental car she had a code for.  

This friend, loves me for who I am, knowing full well the good and bad traits that make me, me.  In fact, she claims to like the weird, quirky traits of mine the best, as different is interesting. 

As I think about her, I realize that all the people I've chosen as friends in my life, are held to the standards I see in her. True to themselves, loyal, honest even if it hurts, quirky and able to laugh freely.  I thank God for all my dear friends.  

Whoa.  Got a little deep there.  

Sometimes that happens when you haven't had a shower in two days and the smell of your dirty hair messes with your brain.

So where are we going?  

Sanibel Island of course!  

The dawn should look something like this:

 and this

 I'll be out before dawn, to see this

I hope shells cover the sand like this

And to find shells like this

Birds on the beach look like this

Snowy Egret

Brown Pelican giving me stink eye

Royal Tern

To recognize me on the beach, just look for the chick with skinny jeans tucked into her thermal dive boots, wearing a double power LED Black Diamond head lamp, and a waist packing containing my camera, iphone, luna bar, and extra bags to carry all my hope to find, finds.  

Quirky isn't so bad, is it girls?  Unless, of course, it involves a third day without a shower.  

Sunday, January 16, 2011

I just wanna know

  1. Why I always choose the slowest slicer at the deli.
  2. Why there are always dirty clothes next to the hamper.
  3. Why there is toothpaste all over the sink, but none in my tube.
  4. Why the kids fight over their toys, but when it's time to clean up, "IT'S NOT MINE".
  5. Why my neighbors driveways are all snow free, but mine has a narrow shovel sized path leading to my husbands car.
  6. Why when I start a hobby, my husband wants to know how long until I make money from it.
  7. Why I can't ever get my library books returned on time.
  8. Why the laundry is never done.
  9. Why I always see people I know at the store when I look like shit, but when I'm glammed up, not a soul sees.

Saturday, January 15, 2011

The List.

Four items.
That was it.
I only went into
Target for four

I actually sat in the parking lot,
debating between Kroger and Target.
I decided shopping at Target would save me
a trip over the weekend.

Wrong twenty nine times.

It started off with plans well laid, tapping a list
into my iphone, checking my purse for cash  
to cover the cost of the four items.
Even with my being wrong twenty nine times,
I still forgot to buy something.
Toilet Paper.

Why am I bringing this up?
Because the reason I haven't really gotten going on 
this blog, is because I am so freakin' disorganized.
But mostly because I keep shopping.  
Shopping for things I need, to whip out all those
awesome ideas I have rolling around in my head.

Time to stop shoppin' and start movin'.
But before I do....
wanna see what I bought?

Clorox wipes
Okedoke Chicago style popcorn
soy sauce
Celestial tea
two loaves bread
hot dog buns
Vitamin water lip gloss.
Burts bees soap
Loreal something, I forget
suave kids body wash, dye free
Aveeno body wash
crest travel size
mini cliff bars
mini Luna bars
full size cliff bars
66 qt clear box
2 under bed boxes
wet ones
three swim suit bottoms
one swim suit top

Honestly, WTF?

I gotta tell you though, the vitamin water lip gloss is
da bomb.  Yep.  Better than the 14 other lipsticks, chapsticks and
assorted glosses already in my purse.
However, not as tasty as the Bonnie Bell Dr Pepper Lip Smackers
I have in every pocket of every coat I own.
And the Celestial Tea?
I have a tea addiction.
But it's not my fault.
It's because I married an Englishman. So there.
If I was married to say, an American, I would
not have 11 boxes of tea in my cupboard.
Clearly, this is his problem, not mine.

The bathing suits?
I got suckered into the display.
Was thinking I might look like the girl in the ad
if I wore those swimsuits.
Forgetting she was 16, while I am *cough*
forty something, carried two babies and am bloated.
They're already in my return bag.

One thing to note, however.
When you try on those those swimsuits,
those suits without quite enough coverage
for woman type parts?
Make sure the blinds for the
stairway landing window are down.

Just sayin'

Thursday, January 6, 2011


Can it be called thrifting if you spend $209.45?  
I dunno....
Perhaps not.

Depends on what was bought.  
And for what it is intended.

My hypothesis is, that the more ugly and irrelevant
your find is, the more creative and crafty you have to be.
Which does not work in my favor.
I'm hypothesizing against myself.

We set off 'thrifting' yesterday, with the intention to find
objects with which to make shell art.  
We found the mother load.
Books - 99¢ for five
VHS tapes, 2/75¢
Shells 49¢ each
( if only I could sell each of my shells for .49... )

I took pictures of a small selection,

Your call 

Find! or Fugly!

egg shell blue dishes

$2.99 and $3.99

candle sconces

$1.99 and $2.99.  My vote is fugly....
unless you have one, than it's a find!

candle holders

Find or Fugly?  To close to call...


2/75 cents.  FIND!

frames and wreath

$1.99 - 3.99.   

Cat clothes holder

$2.25.  My 8 year old votes FIND!!!

Cool Green Vase

$1.99.  Oops, I mean $2.99

Vintage Box


Savin' the best for last.....

Cool Ass Pie Safe!!!!



This will be used to organize my entry way, 
for the three millionth time.
Storage for little shoes, mittens, gloves, papers,
gum wrappers, legos, broken toy parts, leaves 
and other assorted crap that I'm the only one
who bends over to throw away that ends up
piled on the floor.  

Now I'm on the trail of a vintage knob 
( hee hee, I said knob )
and fastener hardware thingymabob.
Big plans are in store for the other things,
stay tuned, there may be spray painting fun!

All Suggestions Accepted Cheerfully!

Wednesday, January 5, 2011

Risky Business


blatant misconduct

Accused of price changing.  
He thought I was a purloiner.

I couldn't believe it.  
Boy, was my face red!

I didn't know what to say upon said accusal.

Stammering and puzzled was all I had.

I mean, why would I change a price tag?

I was standing there with $300 in my Marc Jacobs wallet, two credit cards and an ATM card with access to $6000.00 in my checking account.

I'm pretty much lying about that paragraph.

I'm the chick that stops for stray dogs lost on the highway.
I over tip bad wait people because I feel sorry for them.
I carry $5 bills at Christmas, to give to my kids for the kettle ringers.  Every. single. one. we. see.
I send money to St Jude Children's Hospital.
I donate to animal shelters.
I pray for strangers.

I know, right?  
Why would I change a price tag.
Maybe he knew that
Generosity is not always my nature.
Maybe he knew that sometimes I'm stingy.
Like when the Nazi home room moms buy a
$200 gift for the teachers birthday present,
 then send out multiple emails asking 
the rest of us peon moms to cough up.
 I'm not ashamed to admit 
I anonymously sent in $2 and said a 
prayer for Mrs. Slapmyknuckles to have a good day.

Which I'm glad I did, because I may need money 
for a lawyer some day.
One that can get me out of price altering.

You see, it all started when my crafty friend and I went thrifting.
Thrifting at the Salvation Army Store.
Looking for inspiration for our
crafting ideas.  
The entire reason I started this blog.
It's a New Year, time to take action.

Thankfully, the manager of the Salvation Army 
store we were at, believed me.
Believed that I did not alter the price of a vase.
That I didn't put a yellow sticker saying $1.99 
over a red sticker reading $2.99.

I bought it anyway.
I'll take the extra buck from the $3 I have allotted for the teachers end of year gift.

Sometimes you have to say *What the F*&#*

*as quoted by Tom Cruise in risky business*