Mairzy Doats

I can't say I wasn't warned.  

Given fair warning.  

Unfortunately, information given to me, 

when I'm on the lamb, 

shirking my motherly duties,

 I'll forget.  

What could I possibly be doing, 

to make me forget this important email?

SHELLING 

That's right.  

Not just SHELLING, but EPIC SHELLING.  

Unbelievable SHELLING.  

I had reasons for forgetting!  

SEA ?

Kings Crown.  Big as my hand!

hermit crab in Whelk with eggs and babies

alphabet cones, true tulip, horse conch and unknown shell

I bet you see right through me.  

I'm trying not to tell the story.  It's embarrassing.  

Mostly to my first born.  

Yes, I was told that my daughter was selected to play a lamb
in the school Christmas play. 

Yes,  I was told six weeks before the show.  

I forgot. 

I could blame my daughter, she did tell me her
music teacher had a costume for her.  

I forgot to double check.   

My baaaaad.

A few short days before the play, my little babaloo
sheepishly tells me,

 she needs a costume after all.

  *$@!^#$@, I think.  

Two shakes of a lambs tail later, I order a costume for $7.99
and pay $19.99 for two day shipping.  

 I hit the town, searching for black leggings, black turtleneck,
black mittens and black socks.  

Wrongly assuming this would be a piece of cake.
 I search every store carrying kids clothes, known to man.  

Leggings?  

1980 called, they're not called leggings anymore.  

Leggings are now called jeggings.  

Jeans + leggings = jeggings.  

 Jeggings for eight year olds are designed
by wayward Disney stars, 

who are in rehab for punching out back up dancers and cocaine.  

But I digress.

Done right?  

Possibly.

 If your little babaloo didn't decide to research lambs, what lambs looked like, 

what lambs ate, drank and how high they could count.  

Nope, my child wants to be 'in character'.  

Out come the scissors, straight pins, measuring tape, fabric glue, 

white fleece fabric, white pom poms and anything else Sherpa like I've ever worn.   

I'm a little excited, what with my new pledge to be all crafty and all. 

 I can do this, I think!

pom poms, fabric glue, fleece material

Except, I kinda can't. 

 I mean, kitchen scissors don't really cut thick fabric so well.

 Apparently, proper sewing scissors are needed.  

So she's a little bedraggled.  

She's playing a lamb, sitting by a haystack in a manger at the Birth of Christ.  

Likely no one will notice.  

Burning the midnight oil, I finish the costume, gluing white pom poms 

on black felt ears,

 sewing a mouth and eyes on a white hat, trimming the fleece 

as best I can with my clunky kitchen scissors and left handed child scissors 

I find under a chair, 

while searching for the straight pins I dropped.

fleece ears.  No, they're not supposed to look like elves feet.

lamb costume.  Ala Wilma Flintstone

The next morning, I offer both costumes to little Babaloo.

Tell her if she chooses the store bought one, as not to die of embarrassment, 

I understand.  

That is the one I might choose.  

No need to worry about hurting my feelings.  

She nods her head, wide eyed and takes both costumes to school.

We head to the play, me wondering what she wore, 

praying no one made fun of her.  

I'm actually having a hard time breathing.

 I'm so nervous.

Finally.

It's her turn to take the stage.

She walks out, tall and proud.  The biggest smile on her face, blond mane flying back.

Guess what she chose?

♥  Honey, I love Ewe  ♥